Overheard on a clubrun

Geoff A: “I’m going to build a Small Hadron Collider in my shed.”

Parker: “What on earth for? I hope you don’t put Culgaith into a black hole or we’ll lose Mrs Miller’s tea rooms”
G “My bottom bracket in the titanium bike has seized up again.”
P: “Have you tried spraying it with Plusgas?”
G: “Yes, but it didn’t work so I’m going to bombard the bottom bracket with Higgs Bosons.  If that fails, I may even try gravitons. That should loosen it off.”
P: “What’s a Higgs Boson?”
G: “To understand that you would need to know what a WIMP is.”
P: “Of course I know; it’s someone who doesn’t go on clubruns if it looks like rain.”
G: “That’s true, but actually it stands for “Weakly Interacting Massive Particle.”"
P: "Oh, I know what you mean; it's a description of an overweight motorist."
G: "No it's not that either, it's a concept in quantum mechanics."
P: “Oh. All right. Tell you what, I’ll ask you about something I’ll understand. Being from Yorkshire, you’ll know this.”
G: “What’s that then?”
P: “Is it ‘t’internet’ or ‘t’thinternet’?”
G; (feigning a clip on Parker’s ear) “Cheeky blighter!”